Jan 082016
 

January 8, 2016 — Tomorrow night is a big evening at our house, when I win the Powerball. I have not purchased a ticket of my own.  But, my Beloved has, and Indiana is a community property state.

The winnings, after taxes, could be more than 400 million.  I’m not that greedy.  I am perfectly happy with, say, two hundred million when I win the Powerball.

We, of course, will be anonymous winners, though I’m not sure Indiana allows that.  My husband is somewhat camera shy, and he won’t want the publicity.

What will I do with my, rather, our winnings?  We need a new garage door, one with a motor that triggers a motion light when the door goes up.  And a new dishwasher.  One so quiet that the family will gather around on holidays and ooh and ahh that there is no noise.

I’m not sure we will quit our jobs.  I can unequivocally state I will be much more difficult to deal with at work on a regular basis.

Of course, I will give money away and see that needs are met, but on my terms as the newly, obscenely rich person, when I win the Powerball.

The priority is, naturally, our cat Fala.  I will purchase one of those automatic filtering water bowls so that he has fresh, aerated water every minute of the day.  (This will replace my giving him water from a plastic cup, which is probably a bit over the top.)

For our son (yes, I notice the irony that I mentioned him after the cat), I will pay for a private town cFile:Lincoln-Town-Car-Signature-L.jpgar to take him to and from his studio apartment in Washington D.C.  I will not give him money; I wouldn’t upgrade his apartment.  He’s doing well and we’re proud of him.

But I worry when it is cold. Then I could stop sending him stupid e-mails that ask if he has a warm hat and gloves.  Is the town car service more insulting than the e-mail about the hat and gloves?

Like me, my husband doesn’t really need or want much. When the hospital gets a new shipment of tongue depressors and I bring home the packing materials and boxes, his eyes light up like Christmas. He ships items for his hobby.  Boxes bring him joy.  I might buy him an industrial sized roll of bubble wrap.  That would be some serious joy in his life. It won’t be as great as the three pairs of four dollar sunglasses I got him for Christmas from the dollar store.  The price on those has gone up.  When we first got married, I could buy his sunglasses at the Marathon gas station for ninety-nine cents.

My father needs nothing, but I might get him a private town car service as well when I win the Powerball.  His Buick has more than 100K miles on it.  Plus, it is difficult to find at the senior independent living center where he lives because every car in the parking lot is a late model beige Buick sedan.  You would think there is something in the water that makes these old cars duplicate.  Dad’s girlfriend likes to go to Wal-Mart so the town car could take them there.  Of course, it would have cable with all the sports channels, so Dad could stay in the car and watch Purdue sports, or the Cubs.

My brother wants a three-car garage, so I will build him one for his red sports car.  And maybe a box of real Cuban cigars.

When I win the Powerball, I will give money to all my nieces and nephews (two nieces, three nephews, and five great-nephews.)  I will give them money because I am not the parent.

I will rent a spectacular beach front house somewhere warm. I  will invite all my writer friends and pay for  flights and rental cars and food and tacky T-shirts or funky beach jewelry or anything at all from the outlet mall.  Even the Coach store.  We will  drink Mimosas and make the best guacamole with the freshest, most expensive avocados.  We will laugh ourselves silly, we will cry, we will discuss politics until the cows come home when I win the Powerball.

Speaking of travel, I guess my Beloved and I will  have to quit our jobs because we will  spend a month in Paris and a month in Italy every year.  I am okay with a month in France one year and a month in the Italy the next year.

Now here are the three awesome projects I would pursue, which might take most of the money when I win the Powerball.

  1.  I will give money to therapeutic pre-schools for children with autism and those on the spectrum to give them the same wonderful fighting chance my son received through the Evansville Easter Seals Rehabilitation Center.
  2. I will build an auditorium  on Vann Road so all of the high schools would have an excellent place for graduation and plays and musical concerts. I will endow the salaries of artistic directors.  I will encourage the foundation of an inclusive community theatre company, one that reaches out to everyone particularly those who are differently abled.
  3. I will  buy a traditional publishing house and publish all the brilliant undiscovered books of my writer friends and ensure they have agents to promote their books as screenplays when I win the Powerball.

This has been a lovely delusion, but the cat is thirsty and needs a glass of water.

 

Cross-posted at BlogHer

http://www.blogher.com/when-i-win-powerball

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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